Melissa Fredericks, Founder, MKOS

***“I’m Every Woman trying to be every woman”***

There’s more to an Instagram handle than meets the eye; just ask Melissa Fredericks. Known to many by her Instagram name @MrsKevOnStage, an intentional nod to her outgoing, laugh-out-loud husband and social media personality Kev on Stage, after one quick scroll of her Instagram feed, it’s evident Fredericks, creator of the lifestyle brand MKOS, launched in September 2020, is more than her name suggests.

For starters, despite her traditional Christian upbringing, she has no qualms sporting a shirt declaring “It’s the clit for me,” the perfect conversation starter to her self-liberation found at the intersectionality of sexual freedom and holiness. She is a self-described “bootleg makeup artist,” unafraid to discuss her fear of not being seen to her 114K followers, and has no problem confessing her love of menstrual cups or admitting there are times when her family of four may or may not have eaten takeout five nights in a row because, well, life happens, and mom is busy. Oh, and she is a Black woman who enjoys making her own eggnog. #QueenThings

If it sounds random and a little all of over the place, it’s because it is, and so is Fredericks, in the absolute best of ways. Think organized chaos filled with fashion, relationship talk, recipes, IG family photo shoots and tips on conquering imposter syndrome and overcoming insecurities. Like the MKOS tagline, Fredericks is “every woman, trying to be every woman,” and oh what a journey it has been. From the soft-spoken wife and perceived side-kick to her husband, to now an entrepreneur and certified BOSS with a brand of her own, we sat down with Fredericks to discuss her journey to finding her voice and blazing her own path.

Where did the vision for the MKOS brand come from?

It wasn’t until my job in Los Angeles closed that I began to take the idea of having a brand more seriously. Before it was very organic — if you followed me, you followed me, and if you didn’t, you didn’t. But once my job went away, I said to myself “what do I do now,” and I began to recognize that I needed to take my brand more seriously, and I didn’t want the “Mrs. Kev On Stage” brand to be the one aspect of me.

I wanted my brand to be reflective of the multi-faceted nature of Black women, and that was the vision behind it. Do I love fashion? Yes. Do I love makeup? Absolutely. Just the other day I said we should make homemade eggnog and one of my friends came over and we filmed it. That’s the kind of the randomness of who I am — as women we’re just that. The motto behind [MKOS] is “I’m every woman, trying to be every woman” and just like most women, I’m trying to wear multiple hats in a day.

What was the “A-Ha” moment that led you to creating a brand, and stepping out from the role and perception of being known to many as just “Kev on Stage’s wife?”

Coming through the ranks of social media and building a platform has always fallen in the shadow of Kevin and his Kev on Stage brand — and [up until a point,] that had always been fine with me. I’ve never clamored for the spotlight and it wasn’t until I started to share more of my story— my issues with self-esteem and the realities of marriage and sexuality, that I started to realize I was garnering an audience that was Melissa, beyond “Mrs. Kev on Stage.”

It happened over time. The first shift was #TheLoveHour podcast. I said to myself “ok, Kevin does comedy very well and while I have my funny moments but I’m not a comedian.” The things that were important to me were love, relationship, sex, etc. #TheLoveHour podcast was my first opportunity to express what I was interested in outside of Kevin. After some time went by, I said to myself, “girl you’re more than #TheLoveHour too” and that is this new phase that I’m in – ensuring that every bit of my authentic personality comes out.

In creating the MKOS brand, and as someone who wasn’t always used to or comfortable in the spotlight, how have you gotten more comfortable with receiving more attention?

No. 1 is affirmations. Remind yourself who you are and constantly combat those negative inner monologues with the truth and the reality of the situation. I’m a strong believer in affirmations. I believe what you say to yourself is what you manifest, and I strongly believe we have to start building ourselves with positive manifestations and self-motivate every single day.

No. 2 (I still struggle with this, but I’ve been getting better recently), is becoming comfortable with the idea of being a creative. Being a creative seems very lofty and airy, so I’ve always grounded my creativity with actionable steps which helps the dream come to life. So often we dream and dream, and that’s it. I had to say, here is the big picture, now let’s zoom all the way in and look at the small, everyday steps to get there.

Oftentimes when women are finding their voice it requires a period of reintroducing yourself to others. How did you navigate the discomfort of realizing not everyone will like or accept the “new” Melissa?

It is terrifying. At the end of the day, we all want to be liked, and we don’t want to disappoint people. My definition of integrity is being fully integrated – mind, body, soul. So, if I am projecting something on social media that I am not internally, that’s not integrity. If [people can’t appreciate the woman I am], unfollow me, do whatever you have to do to protect yourself if that also means I can protect myself. Do not expect me to change or be a different person simply because who I am makes you uncomfortable. And while that is scary to say out loud, making a stance to choose me every time is freeing.

“I’ve worked way too hard and way too long to get to this place in my journey to allow anyone to pull me back. Once you have the freedom of knowing and owning who you are, you’ll never go back to who you used to be. And I’m enjoying this freedom way too much to abandon it for the approval of people.”

With this freedom and owning who Melissa is now, any plans to change your Instagram name?

*laughs* I get this a lot…that I should change my name or just go by “Melissa Fredericks” or “MKOS.” Sometimes I struggle with it, but where I am today, and what’s very honest for me, is that I’m quite proud to be Kevin’s wife. I changed my last name to take on his last name, so to wear a social media handle that is associated with the brand of Kev on Stage is not something I am ashamed of. I’m also creating a brand beyond the Kev on Stage brand, which is exciting. I proudly rock the ring on my left hand that ties me to my husband, so I have no problem taking his name.

As a mother, wife and entrepreneur what does balance look like for you?

There is no balance. *laughs* There is an assumption that I have it together, and I absolutely do not. What I have found is that I have to be comfortable in enlisting the help of other people, which can be difficult because I do feel the responsibility of if I don’t do it, it doesn’t count, which is mother and women shaming. I’m not going to be able to do it all and that’s ok. Finding structure is key. Having a list of “must do’s” helps me to find framework and structure, and also accomplishment in the things I’ve done for the week.

I’m also learning to give myself grace, even if things aren’t done. Life happens and you get busy. The world is busy, I’m stressed and we’re in a pandemic. Give yourself the grace and be nice to yourself.

With this freedom and owning who Melissa is now, any plans to change your Instagram name?

*laughs* I get this a lot…that I should change my name or just go by “Melissa Fredericks” or “MKOS.” Sometimes I struggle with it, but where I am today, and what’s very honest for me, is that I’m quite proud to be Kevin’s wife. I changed my last name to take on his last name, so to wear a social media handle that is associated with the brand of Kev on Stage is not something I am ashamed of. I’m also creating a brand beyond the Kev on Stage brand, which is exciting. I proudly rock the ring on my left hand that ties me to my husband, so I have no problem taking his name.

Melissa, I could chat with you all day. As we close, tell us, what’s next for you and the MKOS brand?

We have “All the Things with MKOS” [available now] on Facebook. Here, I will literally be doing ‘all of the things.’ I just filmed an episode with Stovetop Kisses where we made homemade eggnog…and we’re Black! I am super excited about that because this is the randomness that is me. You’ll see me clean out my pantry, do makeup videos, introduce my team and talk about menstrual cups — it’s “all the things.”

I’ll also be releasing my planner very soon along with a self-love workbook, devotional and notebooks. I’m excited for women to join me as we talk about all the things that make us who we are.

To learn more about Melissa, follow her on Instagram at @MrsKevOnStage and her MKOS blog. Watch the latest episodes of ‘All the Things’ on her Facebook page. Also catch new episodes of ‘The Love Hour’ podcast on iTunes, Soundcloud and Spotify.

Melissa Fredericks on Finding Your Voice and the Freedom ‘Every Woman’ Deserves